no one reads this blog…because no one posts on this blog…which means i’m writing for and to myself – but i’m cool with it šŸ™‚ this has always been, primarily, a means of unpacking all the thoughts and emotions around my weight loss journey. and i’m doing it for me. if any of you are still around, well — HELLO!! I MISS YOU!

i’ve been busy – applying and interviewing (hanging up my hat, for now…going to enjoy my many weeks of vacation this year and see what 2013 brings), working (some times more than others), wedding planning (about a month and a half to go!), working out (now a member of two gyms, one of which is kicking the crap out of me on the regular), showering (as in bridal), looking for a new home for me and the hubs-to-be (just about secured) – and blogging has just taken a backseat to all of it. i’m sorry.

i’ve had a couple of fills, but haven’t yet reached the green zone (if you’ll recall, i had a pretty traumatic experience and subsequent de-fill that left me a tad traumatized, to say the least).

where are you, green zone? will i ever find you?

i’ve successfully managed to avoid the scale as much as possible and am focusing on being healthy and making good eating and activity decisions. i continue to lose inches – not pounds – and don’t know why, but have given up as far as focusing on weight, rather than health. health is what matters, ultimately, not weight – so as long as i’m healthy and continue to choose good over bad, i feel okay with where i’m at.

i was on facebook, looking for a photo, and came across the mother of all “before” pics. it’s hard to find many of these priceless gems, as i pretty much avoided a camera for most of the ’00s (is that what we’re calling them??).

honestly, it hurts my heart to look at it – knowing how unhappy i was that day (and all the days around it) – stuck in my “fat suit” – just waiting to get out. the more amazing thing about this picture is that i didn’t feel all that fat at the time. i mean, sure, i was overweight, and knew it – but how no clue as to how big i really had gotten (or allowed myself to get).

anyways, i did a little photoshop magic and put it next to a photo taken a few weeks ago at my shower.

wow. what a difference in me.

people often comment on how good i’m looking – or how much weight i’ve lost, and i don’t see it. but looking at it this way, it’s undeniable.

i know longer look swollen and bloated – though, let me tell you…there are still plenty of days when i feel that way!

it’s a pretty awesome reminder of where i’ve been and how far i’ve come. yes, i still have a long way to go – and my band and its resulting weight loss has been sloooooooooooooow (as molasses, as my dad would say), but so, so worth it.

what about you? is it hard to see the progress you’ve made – or is your “new you” too hard not to notice?

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