I’M BACK, BOOS!

back from my break, back from the wedding, back on track?

well, at least i’m 66 percent of those things – and ready to conquer the other 33 percent.

first, i must thank those of you who haven’t yet hit unsubscribe, despite my frequent absences. you guys are the best.

secondly, i got married (and moved the week prior to our big day – do not recommend).

um….HELLS YEA!

(lovely wedding photography courtesy of her)

i haven’t seen all the photos yet…but it was the MOST. PERFECT. DAY. EVER. and in every way imaginable.

we got married at my parents’ home, on their front porch, in 75-degree, sunny and breezy weather. not a cloud in the sky, despite the original 10-day forecast that called for 60-percent thunderstorms. all of our closest friends and family were there to share in our day – which was relaxed, fun, so us.

regardless: true confession? i couldn’t help but stare at the photos (professional and non-pro) and pick out little bits and pieces of my physique (or lack thereof).

like this one:

arm fat close up…ugh.

and this one:

back fat spillage, much?

and this:

egads! those arms again!

yes. it’s sad that after all my work and hours in the gym, i’m still not able to sit and look at these pictures without criticizing the back fat spilling out of my dress or the cellulite on my arms (seriously – how do i get rid of fat on my arms, because no matter what i do, it stays.)

i’m trying to be okay with me – all of me – but sometimes it’s easier than others.

i know that admitting that i’m sitting here looking at beautiful photos of the most beautiful and perfect day of my life and thinking – gosh, my arms looks huge – makes me vain and awful. but i’m all about being honest with you, even if i can’t always be honest with myself.

which leads me to my next topic: getting back on the wagon (or off?).

i need a fill. like whoa. i wanted to get one before the wedding, but after my stuck episode last december, i was frightened, and knew that any impending wedding stress might just put me over the edge when it comes to my band. i wasn’t risking another trip to the ER in my wedding dress šŸ™‚

so yes. a fill. i need one. i can eat just about anything way too fast. and too much of it.

i haven’t stepped on a scale since april, so i have no idea if i’ve gained or lost – and frankly, scarlett, i don’t give a damn.

side-eye.

i also haven’t been to the gym as frequently as i should have. i will let the record show, however, that i worked out within four days of my wedding, both before (a pre-wedding workout with my bff, jars, who came all the way from nebraska and along with her hub, was my wedding angel) and after, despite extreme exhaustion. and it was a great stress reliever.

yes, it is not lost on me that something that would have been a stress inducer (going to a gym, people seeing me in yoga pants, sweating in front of anyone) is now the opposite. so glad that working out is now an enjoyable thing – not something i dread.

i had been going to a new gym (in addition to the Y) – but found that it really wasn’t for me – for reasons i might explore further in a later post.

yes, it was a great workout, yes, it was a new challenge, and yes, i discovered muscles i never knew i had. but it wasn’t fun, and for me to stick with something long term, it must be fun.

so it’s back to the Y (full-time) and turbo i go.

not me.

good thing we’re waiting to honeymoon until october, because my bod is definitely not bikini (or tankini, for that matter) ready!

i’m in the process of unpacking and unloading all of our wedding crap (and general household-type crap), figuring out how to be a wife, figuring out how to live with someone after 10 years of not having a roomie (yes, we never lived together before), figuring out how to get back on track with weight loss and shed these pounds that seem to want to hang on, checking up on all of you, seeing what you’re up to, and acting like a normal human being again. but i think i’ll just start with unpacking.

i hope that part of being a human being means that i can blog again more frequently – on my (soon-to-be) renewed weight loss journey, my adventures in wifedom and lifedom, and sharing exciting news about my friends who have recently embarked on their own WLS adventures, of which there are several. i’m so excited for them, and for me, to be able to share all the great things happening in their lives and the things they’re learning on the road to healthiness.

until next time, my lovelies, keep pressing on toward the goal(s).

happy hump day šŸ™‚

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